Actually, it’s growing closer to weeks… or months. I’m not happy. I’m just content.
So many things have happened, and right now, my heart is having such a hard time adjusting. I keep on feeling left out, inadequate, just not there in general. I’ve been feeling very “dark blue.” (Dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room?)
But then it gets to times like this where my head just argues with everything I have and tells me more things that make me feel worse.
“You’re so freaking ungrateful. Go hang out with people that love you.” “Why can’t you appreciate what you have?” “You’re never allowed to be yourself, just a droid of what everybody wants you to be.” “Nobody wants to be around you. You’re annoying and ugly and stupid, and you can’t do anything right. This is why you’re going to be single for the rest of your life.”
I CAN’T GET THESE VOICES TO STOP.
And what’s worse is.. God, I feel like I can’t hear You. Where the heck are you…?
“Let me know that You hear me, let me know Your touch. Let me know that You love me, and let that be enough.” – Switchfoot.