“I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but, like everybody else, it must be in my own way.” – Jane Austen
It’s safe to say that I’m no longer the best person to be around… or even the most bearable. I get moody and cranky, and I push people away. I tune them out or just simply walk away. Hell, I don’t even know why I have friends anymore.
I could go further on my list of insecurities and flaws, but I’m sure they’re throughout the rest of this blog somewhere. But I feel like I’ve just shut down and that scares me.
It’s not that I try to shut down; I just honestly don’t think I care as much as I should… or did anymore.
I’m really scared to get on medication. I don’t want to label myself emotionally unstable. But I want to care again if that’s somehow possible. I want to no longer feel useless or as an annoyance, but I don’t know when that’s going to ever happen.
I want to be able to love again.