Now, now.

I think I’m going to take a social break soon.

I’ll still be tweeting occasionally and I guess, hitting the Facebook when I have to, but I think I just really want to stick to this blog. Thanks for never hurting me, WordPress; I truly appreciate it.

For the past six months, I’ve allowed myself to be completely vulnerable in every way, and that was my first mistake. I fell in “like” with a boy who still has yet to grow up into the man he’s supposed to be and just doesn’t feel the same about me. I let a past mistake become an even greater one. I’ve stressed and exhausted myself out to beyond belief to a point where I got undeniably sick, and then I continued to socialize and get worse, all while being unemployed, which was due to my naïveté and frustration.

Talking to Jake tonight though, I’ve realized that I can’t let that bother me. Any of that. From what he said, until I like 90% of myself in all aspect, I can’t allow others to like me. And what’s the point of getting them to like me now if I’m just going to change myself [for the better, hopefully] within the next few months? Year?

Now is my time to focus on school, the gym, work, and last, but not least, Him. I’m cutting down socialization, with the exception of what may on Tuesday lunch barbecues and Thursday night The Merges. After I finish out the appointments I’ve already committed to, of course.

I need to learn to like myself and to appreciate myself, because He has created me with the gifts that I have, and I need to realize that He does NOT make any mistakes, so I can’t complain about myself anymore, unless it’s in action of bettering myself.

So I guess to my friends, it’s a “see ya later,” and to you, WordPress, it’s a “let’s become best friends.”


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