So I’m sitting here on my couch, staring at piles of my clothes in front of me, when all of a sudden, a random huge thunderstorm comes in and it starts pouring.
First thing I thought: Man, this is making me sleepy. But second thing? THIS IS WHAT IT’S GOING TO BE LIKE IN ENGLAND LIKE EVERY DAY AND THIS IS SO COOL.
I cannot contain my excitement to leave for England in technically less than two days. Talk about stoked!
I’ve been preparing for this trip since September, but in all honesty, the real preparation has been this past seven months and two days. God has blessed me so dang much, and I cannot thank the Lord enough. With all of the spiritual attacks and random weird things that’ve happened in the past semester, I can honestly say that God is still good.
And speaking of good, last night was absolutely amazing. Sometimes I forget that I have friends and that people actually like me… but when 40+ of your friends meet up on a Friday night just to tell you how much they love you, pray over you, encourage you, and laugh with you, that’s when you know you’re in a great community. I cannot thank Emma, Matt, Natalie, and Taylor enough for last night, and how warm it made my heart feel. I have the greatest friends.
And with that being said, as excited as I am, I’m in absolute denial that this is happening. Through encouragement time last night, I attempted to sit up straight and make jokes at the random things people would say. Then as Spike and Emma sung to “After All (Holy)” during worship, I felt a tear or two cloud around my eyes, and I attempted to ignore it and just praise the Lord even more. Then Spike called me in the middle for prayer, and as Taylor and Matt held one hand, Mary the other, and Natalie sitting next to me, I could hear their cries and I bit my lower lip as I tried to bite back emotion. I haven’t actually cried yet, because I feel that if I do, then this all is actually real. Like I’m actually going through with it. Like I won’t see my friends and family for eleven months, and I don’t know what to do with that.
I know the Lord has called me to great things. I mean, He’s called everybody to love and to make disciples. But never in the past three and a half years that I thought this would be happening now. That He would give me to resources and the courage to stand up and go to another continent to preach His word for practically a year. Leaving my communication to the Internet with my friends and for me to make new friends. Making new friends scare me.
But God did not give me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)
As these doors are closing, I’m excited(/anxious) for this next step of my life to start. I’m ready for adventure. And I’m ready for Monday to come so I can finally stop being emotionless and cry on the plane after I finish saying goodbye to everybody. 🙂
Two more days, guys. Two. More. Days.